(Update 21Dec2024: When this classic pun-laden story surfaced in a conversation this morning, I googled a phrase that I recalled with the word “evanescent” and found this other version which more accurately reflects what I recall reading originally, so now I’m uncertain as to the authorship, but it’s a fun read regardless!)
(A quick note: a few years ago, I was doing some web design work for a dear friend and client in southern Oregon (Leonard Laskow) and we discovered a mutual interest in puns… Some time later, I showed this total pun blitz to him at one of our design meetings, and he exclaimed, “Bruce, I wrote that!” He had no idea that it would propagate as far as it did, propagating even back in the days when photocopying was a primary vehicle for sharing fun and silly stuff. I first came across it as a teenager growing up in Livermore Calif. and heard that someone at Lawrence Livermore Lab had written it. What a small world to discover it’s original author! 🙂 Here’s the extended pun, which you’ll likely discover is a familiar fairy tale 🙂
Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter mudder inner ladle cordage onner etch offer lodge dock florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry ladle cluck wetter putty ladle rat hut, end fur disk raisin, pimple caulder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut. Wan moaning, Rat Rotten Hut’s murder colder inset: “Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter end shirker cockles.” “Tick disk ladle basking tudor cordage offer groin murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist.” “Shaker lake, dun stopper laundry wrote, end yonder nor sorghum stenches, dun stopper torque wet strainers.”
“Hoe-cake, murder,” resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, end tickle ladle basking starter oft. Honor wrote tudor cordage offer groinmuder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anamolous woof.
“Wail, wail, wail,” set disk wicket woof, effervescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut. “Wares or putty gull goring wizard ladle basking?”
“Wear goring?” “Armor goring tumor groin murder’s” reprisal ladle gull. “Grammars seeking bet.” “Armor ticking arson burden barter end shirker cockles.”
“O hoe! Heifer blessing woke,” setter wicket woof. Butter taught tomb self, Oil ticker shirt court tudor cordage offer groin murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter. End den, Oh bore!
Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, end whinney retched a cordage offer groin murder, picket inner window and sore debtor worming worse lion inner bet. Inner flesh disk adbominal woof lipped honor betting end adder rope. Zany pool dawn groin murder’s gnat hut and gnat gun, and curdle dope inner bet.
Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft atter cordage an ranker dough ball. “Com ink, sweat hart,” setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse.
“Oh grammer,” crater ladle gull, “wart beg icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice.”
“Buttered lucy chew wiff, doling,” wiskered dis ratchet woof, wetter wicket small.
“Oh grammer, water bag noise. A nervous sore suture anamalous prognosis.”
“Buttered small chew wiff,” inserter woof, ants mouse warse waddling.
“Oh grammer, water bag mousey gut. A nervous sore suture bag mouse.”
Daze worry rotten hut gull’s last warts. Oil offer sodden, throning offer carvers end sprinkling otter bet, disk cural end bloat thursday woof ceased pore Ladle Rat Rotten Hut end garbeld erupt.
MURAL: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers.